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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Pro Tip: Never make snow angels in a dog park.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Making waves on Facebook:

Alcohol and eye contact is a deadly combo.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Spotted on Telegram:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Spotted on WeChat:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Trending via Slack:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Making waves on Reddit:

11 Funny hot dog quotes

More funny hot dog quotes 👇

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

3 weeks ago

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For even more funny hot dog quotes, hit next 👇

All funny hot dog quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Threads this month:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

39 shares on Threads this month:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Alexa, mute my children.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

92 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

46 shares on Facebook this month:

If you ever need nothing, I’m here for you.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

And once again my day begins without a red carpet! Guys, I’m really disappointed in you.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I need to stop living by the words “life is short.” It’s hurting my bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Just shared via Twitch:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Making waves on Telegram:

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

Trending via Reddit:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Seen just now on TikTok:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Just landed via TikTok:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Going viral on Facebook:

The feminine urge to say “ouch” when I bump into things that doesn’t even hurt.

Trending via WeChat:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

11 Funny hot dog quotes

More funny hot dog quotes 👇

Dating apps aren’t working, time to start drinking beer and eating hot dogs along the first base line at a baseball game.

All funny hot dog quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨