Commentary:
"I hate small talk!" Oh okay. Do you think all young goats are called kids because they're kidding around with small talk too much? 🐐😆 #SmallTalkSucks
Tag Archives: 5673 Funny i quotes
I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.
Commentary:
"I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do a lot of active activities, but little do they know it's just for show… 🚲😂 #FakeItTillYouMakeIt"
I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.
Commentary:
"I may regret the megabytes I've wasted, but I'll always cherish the memories of those adorable cat videos 🐱💻 #PrioritiesInCheck"
Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.
Commentary:
"Sometimes I feel useless, but then I remember I breathe out carbon dioxide and I'm basically a plant… Just doing my part to keep the Earth green! 🌿🤣"
I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.
Commentary:
🤳👍 "I can't stand people who are like 'I require validation' – wait, did you remember to like and share this post to validate my opinion? 😂 #IronyAtItsFinest"
When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.
Commentary:
"Who needs regrets when you can just sleep through them? 😴😆 Mastering the art of problem-solving, one snooze button at a time! ⏰🛏️ #MorningRegretsNoMore"
I love my cat, but I hope in her next life she’s reincarnated as the owner of a very whiny cat.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of cat karma! 😸🔄 Here's to hoping she learns the joys (or pains) of dealing with a demanding furball in her next life! 🙀😹 #Catception"
Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.
Commentary:
Ah, so it appears that the infamous "villain era" defense is making a comeback in today's courtroom drama! 🦹♂️🕵️♀️ We can only wonder what mischievous deeds were carried out during this questionable phase. Your honor, could it be that the defendant's cape and twirling mustache were mere fashion statements of the times? 🎩👀 #VillainEraChronicles
My body looks like I have a great personality.
Commentary:
😆 "My body looks like I have a great personality… Yep, my abs are hiding under layers of charm and wit! 💁♂️ Who needs a six-pack when you've got a six-sense of humor, am I right? 😂 #BodyConfidenceGoals"
I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.
Commentary:
"Sleeping: the ultimate budget-friendly and drama-free activity! 💤💸 No need for expensive outings or heart-to-heart conversations while in dreamland. Who needs reality when you have a cozy bed and the promise of zero social obligations?"