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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Normalize mouthing the lyrics to the song in your headphones in public.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If being hydrated is such a great thing, why does it feel like my bladder is pissed off?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

44 minutes ago

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Trending via Slack:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Just landed via X:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Spotted on WeChat:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

Going viral on Telegram:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Why do I gotta dress for success? Maybe success could be the one who puts a little more into this relationship.

Shared recently on YouTube:

A bird just flew into our glass door. Іt’s not dead. Just really embarrassed.

Home » Funny Jury Quotes

Funny jury quotes

New funny jury quotes 👇

4 weeks ago
Share →: Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Commentary:
"Oh, so that’s your secret 'get out of jury duty free' card! 🃏🤣 Just make sure your alibi doesn't have WiFi! 📡🚫"
6 months ago
Share →: Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Commentary:
"Jury duty: the ultimate surprise office party where you get to play detective without the cool spy gadgets. 🔍💼 And the pay? A whopping $15 to solve real-life mysteries. Sign me up for that adventure! 🕵️‍♂️💸"
6 months ago
Share →: People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.

Commentary:
"Who needs Netflix when you've got jury duty? 🕵️‍♂️💼 But let's be real, being sequestered probably means getting more peace and quiet than any mom could dream of! 🤫🛌 #MomGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Imagine you’re on jury duty and the courtroom sketch artist draws stink lines above you.

Commentary:
"Looks like the courtroom sketch artist misunderstood 'presumed innocence' as 'presumed stinkiness'! 🤣💨 Better watch out for those odoriferous accusations! #StinkLinesOfJustice"
6 months ago
Share →: The question I ask myself most often is, “What would a jury think about this?”

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal pondering of a mind constantly questioning its own actions! 🤔🕵️‍♂️ It's like having a personal jury living rent-free in your brain, passing judgment on every decision from what to have for breakfast to how to style your socks. Just imagine the jury members in there furiously scribbling notes while you debate the important issues like laundry day or nap time. 🧦💭 Remember, in the courtroom of self, always aim

For even more funny jury quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny jury quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

44 minutes ago

3,421

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I get real disrespectful with serving sizes. A bag is not gonna tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Seeing a grown man stumble when the train moves is disgusting. How will you provide for anyone?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

When the exam is so hard that you look out the window to appreciate nature.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Going viral on TikTok:

I just want to be treated like a hot little French fry.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m a credit card, cause I’m always being used or denied.

Breaking via X:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Going viral on Slack:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Going viral on WeChat:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

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