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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Went out of town, came back and the roomba changed all the locks.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Sadly, I do my best proofreading after I hit “send.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2426 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,588

Funny Quotes Topics

15,259

Funny Quotes Images

12,588

42 minutes ago

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Trending via LinkedIn:

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

Going viral on Twitch:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but I think people who say ‘I don’t know who needs to hear this’ know exactly who needed to hear it.

Seen just now on Threads:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Note to self: Very important! First hang up, then insult.

Home » Funny Kidnap Quotes

Funny kidnap quotes

New funny kidnap quotes 👇

Jan 28, 2025
Share →: The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

Commentary:
"Here's a deliciously logical excuse to indulge in cake 🍰 – safety first! Remember, a little extra fluff can be your best defense against being whisked away 🍰🦸‍♂️. So go ahead, treat yourself to some cake and build your own personal fortress! Stay safe, stay sweet! 💪🍰 #CakeIsLife"

For even more funny kidnap quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny kidnap quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2426 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,588

Funny Quotes Topics

15,259

Funny Quotes Images

12,588

42 minutes ago

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Soft launching your call out the next day by telling everyone at work your stomach feels a little weird.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I deserve a dragon after all I’ve been through.

Going viral on X:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Spotted on Facebook:

Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Reported on Telegram:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Trending via Facebook:

Yawning is the body’s way of telling you it has only 15% battery remaining.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

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