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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡³ has viewed:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Someone from πŸ‡©πŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from πŸ‡ΎπŸ‡ͺ has downloaded:

I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡© has viewed:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has shared:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,378

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

The first thing you learn to draw in art school is money from your parents bank account.

Going viral on Slack:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Trending via Twitch:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Trending via Instagram:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

Spotted on WeChat:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Just shared via Telegram:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Freshly posted on X:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Funny killing quotes

Funny killing quotes bring a cheeky twist to a serious subject, mixing dark humor with wit πŸ’€πŸ˜‚. Perfect for those who love a little edge in their laughs, these quotes make the grim feel less grim and more grin-worthy 😈🎭. Ready to slay with some clever lines that kill it in humor? Let’s dive into the funniest ways to joke about the ultimate exitβ€”without taking things too seriously! βš”οΈπŸ€£

New funny killing quotes πŸ‘‡

All funny killing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Facebook this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

11 shares on Discord this month:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

72 shares on Threads this month:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Put my height in bio. Hope it lands me a girlfriend.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for β€œdumpster fire”?

93 shares on Twitch this month:

More candlelight, less gaslight, babe.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I recently discovered β€œmovies.” They’re usually like an hour and a half long, and a pretty good way to kill time. Check it out.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The feminine urge to start a coven.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Called in, β€œI’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Watching a movie and using a laser pointer to indicate where my fellow viewers should be looking for an optimal viewing experience.

16 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,477

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is β€œunexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Someone from πŸ‡ΌπŸ‡Έ has viewed:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡· has viewed:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡© has shared:

The older I get, the more I realize that being rushed by someone is a form of manipulation.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ή has copied:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¬ has copied:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Adulthood is wild. One day I’m transferring money to my savings account, and three days later, I’m transferring it out to save myself.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Nice tots you got there. Be a shame if someone tatered em.

Live now on Slack:

Me every time I wake up: Oh no, not again!

Seen just now on Discord:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Going viral on Facebook:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Trending via Slack:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Seen just now on Facebook:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

Trending via Slack:

I’ll be like β€œI’m fine” then shake my leg at 150 mph.

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