Commentary:
"Remember, in the office jungle, sometimes a touch of eccentricity is the key to maintaining your territory. 🐒 Just don't blame us if you end up talking to yourself… as the prophecy foretold. 🔮😄"
135 Funny leave quotes
Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.
Commentary:
“Passwords are like underwear: Keep them hidden, refresh them often, and definitely don’t be handing them out to random passersby! 🙈🔒 #PasswordProtection101″
At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.
Commentary:
Well, it seems like the key to escaping the office is not a corner office or a fancy title, but simply a fictional child! Who knew that the path to freedom was paved with imaginary offspring? Just make sure your "kid" doesn't accidentally show up at the company picnic, or you'll have some explaining to do!
She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.
Commentary:
Well, well, it looks like someone just got burned with their own fire! Seems like the tables have turned – from leaving her on read to leaving her speechless. Maybe next time, think before you text!
Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?
Commentary:
"Well, I guess fat is just too clingy to let go. It just can't resist hanging around for the long haul, unlike those socks that mysteriously disappear in the laundry!"
I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.
Commentary:
😂 "Ah, the irony of being ravenously hungry after a dental appointment! It's like your mouth is screaming 'feed me' while your dentist is saying 'not so fast, buddy!' 🦷🍔 Don't worry, that post-dentist feast will taste all the more satisfying after the mandated food exile!"
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
Commentary:
Ah, the elusive mind – known to wander off on spontaneous adventures, leaving behind a trail of forgotten thoughts and lost ideas. One can only hope it returns with a thrilling tale or at least a souvenir from its escapades in the great unknown of forgetfulness!
You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.
Commentary:
"Debating with this person is like trying to win at a game of 'Agree to Disagree'! 🤷♂️ When it comes to a battle of wits, they've perfected the art of making you agree yourself out of the discussion. 😆 #MasterOfAgreeing"
Life hack: If you never leave the house you don’t have to worry about running into someone you don’t want to talk to.
Commentary:
"Life hack: Solving the awkward small talk dilemma one cozy day at a time 🏡 Just add pajamas and Netflix for maximum avoidance success! 💁♂️ #HomebodyWinning"
Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.
Commentary:
🤣 "Oh sure, your crush is definitely going to leave their spouse for you, just like rainbows are made of cotton candy and unicorns pay taxes! 🌈🦄 That's how delusions work, my friend. Embrace the fantasy, but maybe keep a grip on reality too!" 😅