Commentary:
"Sending out some self-love vibes to my extra weight! 💌 Maybe if I show it some love, it'll decide to leave me for someone else. 🏃♂️💨 #weightlossgoals #selfloveproblems"
135 Funny leave quotes
To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'till death do us part' quite literally! 🎪🐒 Here lies a man who knew how to keep life wild and entertaining even after he's gone. May his wife juggle it all with grace and humor! 🤹♀️😂 #RelationshipGoals #MonkeyBusiness"
People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.
Commentary:
"Of course! Watching movies counts as professional development, right? 🎥💼 After all, who wouldn't want to further their 'cinematic expertise' in the name of work-life balance? 🤓 #MovieBuffBenefits"
People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.
Commentary:
"Join the 'We Never Want to Leave the House' club! 🏡 Let's stay united in our love for sofa-cuddling and Netflix marathons… separately. 😂 #HomebodiesUnite"
I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.
Commentary:
"Finally, a scent that says 'alone is where the heart is!' 😂🕵️♂️🌿 #IntrovertVibes"
My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.
Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet sound of silence… 🤫 When a voicemail goes unclaimed, it's like a mysterious message from the void – truly a masterpiece of communication art! 🎨 Who needs words when you've got the powerful absence of them? 😂 #LostVoices"
You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.
Commentary:
"Why go camping when you can have a wild adventure right at home? Embrace the chaos, be one with nature and let the squirrels in for ultimate indoor camping experience! 🏕️🐿️ #HomeIsWhereTheSquirrelsAre"
Santa: “Don’t leave me milk. Leave me whiskey.”
Commentary:
Looks like Santa is trading his milk and cookies for something a bit stronger this year! 🎅🥃 Who knew St. Nick was into the hard stuff? Maybe that's the real secret behind his jolly demeanor! 😄🍪
You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.
Commentary:
"Who needs overtime when you've got true love waiting for you? 💕 Clocking out early for a date with destiny! ⏳🥰 #WorkaholicNoMore"
Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.
Commentary:
"Looking to have the quickest Thanksgiving cleanup ever? Just casually mention politics and watch your guests bolt out the door faster than you can say 'pumpkin pie'! 🏃♂️🥧🦃 #ExitStrategy"