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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

The internet is making people stupid. Not me, though.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Do you ever find yourself just thinkin’ about bread?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love having plans to cancel.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Trending via Pinterest:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Shared recently on Threads:

Is my life this bad because I didn’t forward that email to 15 people back in 2007?

Shared recently on Messenger:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Funny life support quotes

Funny life support quotes bring a much-needed dose of laughter to serious moments 💉😂! Whether you’re a medical pro or just love quirky humor, these witty sayings keep spirits high and stress low 😅💪. Ready to smile through the beeps and tubes? Let’s dive into some hilarious takes on life support that prove humor truly is the best medicine! 😄🎉

New funny life support quotes 👇

All funny life support quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

34 shares on Instagram this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

90 shares on X this month:

I bought a 12 year old whiskey. His parents are furious.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

My kid asked where babies come from and I said everywhere, man, they’re worldwide.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

20 shares on Slack this month:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,698

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

That awkward moment when everything is going so perfectly… and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

The minute I start feeling like a mother to a man, the relationship is over.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Going viral on Instagram:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Going viral on Threads:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Spotted on Slack:

I want my house spotless, but kicking my kids out seems wrong.

Just landed via Threads:

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Making waves on Discord:

Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.

Just shared via WeChat:

I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

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