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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

l identify as a Christmas tree. Lit on the outside, dead on the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Caesar, looking shocked: “Is it bring your knife to work day or something?”

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t know what i’m going to be for Halloween, so I’m probably just going to put in a tampon and go as a sexy kite.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

Trending via Twitch:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

Shared recently on X:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Just shared via YouTube:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Just shared via YouTube:

Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone.

Spotted on Telegram:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Just shared via Instagram:

You wish you had this many chins.

Just shared via Slack:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Freshly posted on Discord:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Funny medium quotes

Funny medium quotes bring a hilarious twist to the mysterious world of spirits and psychic vibes 👻✨ Whether you’re a believer or just here for the laughs, these witty lines will have you chuckling like a ghost in a haunted house 😂🎭 Dive into the spooky fun and lighten up the medium mood with some clever humor that’s out of this world! 🌌🔮

New funny medium quotes 👇

All funny medium quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Instagram this month:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

21 shares on X this month:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

27 shares on X this month:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so glad I cleaned the house so the kids have a clean canvas to drop their stuff everywhere.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a small lifestyle change that has an instantaneous, huge payoff.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

What a strange day. And it has been for years.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,229

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Yeah, I work at the fart bar. Yup. I’m a fartender. Farts on me tonight!

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Don’t worry, man, we can probably Photoshop the deep and enduring sadness out of your eyes later.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

All we needed to be happy in the 90s was music and cigarettes.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Just landed via WeChat:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Started from the bottom and I’m still ain’t shit.

Breaking via Telegram:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Breaking via Messenger:

Imagine being social on social media.

Going viral on Twitch:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Spotted on Discord:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

Just shared via Threads:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

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