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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

If you keep your AC any higher than 75, please don’t invite me to your terrarium, you lizard.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to cancel my appointment at a sperm bank. I will just call them and say I can’t come.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Money is always a motive for murder. Stay broke.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

My life is a constant cycle of waiting for the weekend.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Break-up so bad, he blocked me on Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

My tapeworm is starting a podcast about the McRib.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Going viral on Instagram:

It’s easy to keep me happy: feed me sunshine in summer — and keep me warm in winter.

Going bananas on Facebook:

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Spotted on Facebook:

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

Broadcasted on X:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Spotted on Instagram:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Spotted on Instagram:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Funny mug quotes

Funny mug quotes bring your morning coffee ☕️ to life with a splash of humor 😂 and a dash of personality 🎉. Whether you’re gifting a friend or treating yourself, these witty sayings turn every sip into a smile 😄. Perfect for brightening up dull workdays or sparking conversations, funny mug quotes are the ultimate blend of caffeine and comedy ☕️✨!

New funny mug quotes 👇

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

0

2 months ago

attitude, behavior, blame, cat, coffee, coffee mug, dare, domestic, domestic life, edge, fault, feline, feline attitude, humor, i, just, kitchen, life, me, mischief, mug, over, pet, pet behavior, put, table
Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

0

2 months ago

dishwasher, everyday, everyday life, gift, humor, kitchen, life, microwave, moment, mug, safety, sarcasm, silence
I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, anxious, caffeine, coffee, edge, feeling, humor, i, morning, morning routine, mug, relief, routine, stress, stress relief, take, think
My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, coffee, coffee mug, gift, humor, interpretation, me, mom, much, mug, own, read, sarcasm, self-acceptance, too, trying

All funny mug quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Threads this month:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

41 shares on X this month:

My love language is deader than Latin.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

32 shares on Threads this month:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

25 shares on Threads this month:

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was brought up in the wild by hyenas. Times were hard, food was scarce but we had some great laughs.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,465

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

The toughest part of a diet isn’t watching what you eat. It’s watching what other people eat.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

They’re called grown-ups because they groan every time they get up.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Drive like no one is watching.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

In contrast to the ship, the movie Titanic was quite well received in America.

Making waves on Snapchat:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

Making waves on Messenger:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I hate how what would have been a parody is now reality.

Going viral on Threads:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

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