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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,395

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Breaking via Facebook:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Freshly posted on Slack:

My ideal vacation would be to drop my family off at the airport and then have a week of peace and quiet.

Just shared via TikTok:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Spotted on Threads:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Trending via TikTok:

It’s like my therapist always says, that’ll be $175.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I aspire to be a stay-at-home mom with no kids.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Funny nagging quotes

Funny nagging quotes are the perfect way to laugh at those little reminders that never seem to end! 😂 Whether it’s from your partner, friend, or that one family member, these witty lines turn everyday nags into hilarious moments. 🤪 Ready to LOL at the quirks of nagging? Let’s dive into some playful sayings that make even the most persistent reminders feel like a comedy show! 🎭✨

New funny nagging quotes 👇

All funny nagging quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Doctor: Your body has run out of magnesium. Me: OMg.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

The sexiest thing a man can do is have a problem-solving mentality.

60 shares on Instagram this month:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

84 shares on X this month:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I turned into a “teen wolf”, my first order of business would definitely be helping my basketball team get to the local championships.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Knowing a guy who knows a guy is one of the most valuable things in the entire world.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

“Easy like Sunday morning” is something people with no kids say.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I never knew how fast I could write until the teacher said pencils down.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to mess me up.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

“Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight!” Okay, then explain bayonets to me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Maximizing rent value by turning ‘homebody’ into an Olympic sport!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

At the plastic surgeon: Please, Doc, help me. My Barbie doll has appendicitis.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

Spotted on Facebook:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Live now on YouTube:

Goodnight to the men who know one woman is enough. The rest can get sleep paralysis.

Seen just now on Slack:

Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.

Just shared via YouTube:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The Masters would be a lot more interesting if there were starving alligators roaming throughout the golf course.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Breaking via X:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Going viral on Instagram:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

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