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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

I’m not afraid of ghosts because everyone who’s mad at me is still alive.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Movie date at my house, but we use pirated sites and spend all night closing pop-ups.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

When I say I like when older men tell me what to do, I am talking about Yoda and his teachings.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2056 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,218

Funny Quotes Topics

14,965

Funny Quotes Images

12,218

Updated

18 seconds ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

Big city friend is complaining about a 10 minute wait for a subway while I sit here waiting for the rail replacement horse.

Spotted on Pinterest:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Making waves on Twitch:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Breaking via TikTok:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

Live now on LinkedIn:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Going viral on Discord:

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

Seen just now on Reddit:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Reported on Slack:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Making waves on Messenger:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Live now on TikTok:

If pigeons could talk, they would bum a cigarette.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2056 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,218

Funny Quotes Topics

14,965

Funny Quotes Images

12,218

Updated

18 seconds ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t come. I’m still recovering from the last time I went out.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

In an alternate universe, the hard way is always learning me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Why is there a level 6 for toasters? As if someone thinks: “Tonight I’m really in the mood for ashes with butter!”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Making waves on Telegram:

Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Just landed via Slack:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told it’s bedtime.

Just landed via Messenger:

You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Just shared via X:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Trending via Snapchat:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

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