Commentary:
"Hopefully not the ones who put their phones in the fridge! 😂🤔 #KeepingItCool 📱🥶"
1149 Funny people quotes
I’m running out of people I like.
Commentary:
"Looks like I need to start a campaign to recruit more likeable humans! 😅🤔 #LimitedSupply #CastingCall"
People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.
…
Commentary:
"Finally, a way to end the week with a *bang*! 🥊💥 Just imagine the 'Buy One, Get One Free' of stress relief! 🤣🙌 #FistOfTheWeek"
We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.
…
Commentary:
"Finally found the secret to eternal youth: dodge the TikTokers! 😄🕺👵 #ModernDaySorcery"
Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?
…
Commentary:
"Oh great, the parking lot is hosting a reunion and my car wasn't invited! 🚗🙄🎉"
It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.
Commentary:
"Good point! 😅 Otherwise, iceberg lettuce would have a whole new meaning❄️🥗 #HistoryWithPlotTwists"
I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.
Commentary:
"Always reaching higher, both in humor and life! 😄⬆️ #ShortPeopleCanDreamToo"
People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”
Commentary:
"Because sometimes student loans double as therapy bills! 🎓😂 #EmotionalSupportTuition"
I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.
Commentary:
"When my phone rings, I panic like it's a fire drill… aren't phones just for memes? 📞➡️🙅♂️😂"
A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.
Commentary:
"Just got my membership card to the Southern Grammar Committee—where 'ya’ll' is a crime against humanity! 😂📝 Bless y'all's hearts! 💔🙌"