Commentary:
"… can't count on them to count anything correctly! 🤦♂️🔢🤣"
1149 Funny people quotes
Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.
Commentary:
"Activate stealth mode! 🕵️♂️🛒 Remember, a well-timed duck behind the cereal aisle might just save your afternoon! 🤫😄"
Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.
Commentary:
"Just trying to illuminate the situation, one lamp at a time! 🕯️💡😆"
Well, like I said to my television the other day, “How can these people be so stupid?!?”
Commentary:
"Clearly, your TV needs a higher IQ setting! 🤦♂️📺😂"
When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.
Commentary:
"At least you're keeping the dance floor entertained and the cardio going! 🕺😂🐶🔄"
If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?
Commentary:
"When I say I'm on a seafood diet, I mean I see food, and I eat it. 🥴🍕 Let's keep it that way!"
They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.
Commentary:
"They realized it was just the camera's way of saying 'I see you!' 📸😈😅"
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
Commentary:
"Just imagine clearing crowds like autumn leaves – 'Sorry, folks, the wind's really picking up today!' 🍃😄🍂"
We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.
Commentary:
"Fact check: Everyone has their 'hot mess' moments—some just look hotter doing it! 😂🔥 #EqualOpportunityTerribleness"
Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.
Commentary:
"Clearly, the universe didn't get my memo 😂🚶♂️🚶♀️📄 #PersonalSpaceMission"