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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from has downloaded:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from has copied:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Someone from has copied:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Narcissus fell in love with his own image, but was immediately annoyed at how it always tried to talk while he was talking.

Someone from has shared:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from has shared:

What an embarrassing time to be alive.

Someone from has downloaded:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from has shared:

What if you went to ET’s planet and all of the other ET’s were wearing clothes?

Someone from has copied:

Adult friendships are like, “hey girl, let’s keep rescheduling to hangout until one of us dies.”

Funny Quotes Data

New Funny Quotes

716 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,878

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13,860

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Updated

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Social Media Log

Broadcasted on Instagram:

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Everyone should be more grateful for what I don’t say.

Trending via Snapchat:

If I could turn water into wine, I’d have lots of followers too.

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

As you get older you become all of the seven dwarfs.

Shared recently on X:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Making waves on X:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Home » Funny Perks Quotes

Funny perks quotes

New funny perks quotes

4 months ago
Share →: Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Commentary:
"Who needs a power bank when your face is already draining all the energy around you? #UglyButSavingBatteryLife"
6 months ago
Share →: Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

Commentary:
"Perks of dating me: I'll make you feel like the *sizzle* to my bacon … or the *steam* to my latte … or the *fireworks* to my 4th of July. Basically, I'll ensure you're the 'hot' topic wherever we go! #sizzleandswag"