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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I have friends in high places (birds).

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I am not “quiet quitting”, I am suffering from third-degree burnout.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Just shared via Facebook:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m drinking coffee so I don’t say mean things to you. You’re welcome.

Just shared via TikTok:

Remember, guys, it costs zero dollars to be annoying to strangers on the internet.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Making waves on TikTok:

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

Freshly posted on X:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Trending via Facebook:

When you clean your room so well that the only trash left is you.

Funny picky eater quotes

Funny picky eater quotes 🍽️🤣 bring a hilarious twist to mealtime struggles! Whether you’re dodging veggies 🥦 or refusing that mysterious casserole 🍲, these witty lines capture the picky eater mood perfectly. Get ready to laugh out loud and relate to the endless food battles that make every bite an adventure! 🍕😂 #FoodieFunnies #PickyEaterProblems

New funny picky eater quotes 👇

All funny picky eater quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Slack this month:

If I had The Force, I’d just use it to open pistachios.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

24 shares on Slack this month:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

27 shares on Threads this month:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

30 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

In honor of the winter solstice, I also will be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

34 shares on Instagram this month:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

These aliens are taking forever.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,325

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

My life coach traded me.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Dating profiles should make you share a sound bite of you sneezing.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Breaking via Slack:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Going viral on Reddit:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Spotted on Reddit:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Once you’ve read the dictionary, every other book you read is just a remix.

Trending via TikTok:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Breaking via Reddit:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

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