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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

It’s interesting growing up and learning that most adults are not smart. I had my suspicions as a kid, but I didn’t think the situation was this dire.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come in to work today, I’m gonna be playing outside.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,562

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you have nothing nice to say, I promise you that I’ll have something even worse to say back.

Making waves on Threads:

Sleep with each other, or someone else will!

Going viral on Facebook:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Seen just now on TikTok:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I need someone to convince me into or out of buying a jetski. I can’t keep living in this purgatory.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Y’all ever withheld good news so that it remains untouched by negativity?

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Can’t. Inventing new things to worry about.

Just landed via X:

My life goal is to make you feel as awkward or awesome as you are making me feel.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

16 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your parents’ house, where the wifi password is fEtbqP2LVp3U6Hkh

17 shares on YouTube this month:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

39 shares on X this month:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

You know what goes great with helping your kid with math homework? Vodka!

37 shares on WeChat this month:

I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

If a door closes, I’m just going to open it again.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Be so funny that everyone forgets that you are ugly!

62 shares on Pinterest this month:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

A car window made specifically for a dog to stick its head out of is called a sunwoof.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Really just want to meet someone who knows what songs not to talk over.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I just realized boobytrap backwards spells partyboob.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

My toxic trait is binging a show too fast, then getting sad when I have nothing to watch.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

I’ve used dark mode so much that I’m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Trending via Messenger:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Spotted on X:

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

Going viral on Twitch:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Spotted on WeChat:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

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