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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Get a puppy if you are in the market for a best friend who gets you up early so she can bite you excitedly.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Mount Rushmore would be way more American if all the presidents were eating.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

With great power comes a great electricity bill.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

3 hours ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Going viral on TikTok:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Spotted on Twitch:

Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.

Reported on X:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If adulting had a return policy, I’d use it immediately.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s okay to feed your car a curb, as a little treat sometimes.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Whoever was the first to shorten “Richard” down to “Dick” must have really hated that guy.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Home » Funny Procedure Quotes

Funny procedure quotes

New funny procedure quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

Commentary:
Well, looks like even the Almighty has some bureaucracy to deal with! 📝😅 Just imagine God sitting behind a desk, sipping celestial coffee, and reviewing paperwork for 'divine interventions'. #HeavenlyRedTape

For even more funny procedure quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny procedure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,994

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,994

3 hours ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Stop making eye contact with me, I can’t afford a wedding right now.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Are you telling me these billionaires don’t have my best interests at heart?!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

I just sneezed next to my computer and the anti-virus popped up.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just told my kids it’s illegal to have the light on while we’re driving. I will not break this cycle.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I am on a diet where you just speak Italian: “Pasta,” “Pizza,” and “I’m leaving Rooma for dessert.”

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

Shared recently on Discord:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

Spotted on Telegram:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Just landed via WeChat:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Just shared via Discord:

IKEA is the swedish word for “relationship meltdown in a public place.”

Just landed via Slack:

I did nothing wrong. I tried to do nothing and did it wrong.

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