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Funny recruitment quotes

  • Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

    Commentary:
    Looks like even the Big Guy upstairs is embracing the ‘just wing it’ philosophy these days! Who knew being a godparent was as easy as saying a quick prayer and bringing a covered dish to the baptism party? Guess God is just looking for warm bodies with good hearts – and a decent sense of humor!

  • Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

    Commentary:
    “Men’s dating budget: One-time use only! Like a limited-time offer at a store 🛍️💸 Don’t mistake it for the long-term finance plan 💼💰 #DatingRealities”

  • How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

    Commentary:
    “Joining a cult, huh? Just remember, if the recruiter starts offering you Kool-Aid, maybe consider running in the other direction 🏃‍♂️💨. But hey, at least you’ll never have to worry about making decisions again… #cultlife 🤪🔮”

  • Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

    Commentary:
    “Applying for a job online is like sending your resume into a black hole and then getting interviewed like you were hand-picked by the heavens above 🌟💼 It’s like, hey, I applied because I need a job and you had openings – it’s not rocket science! 🚀😂”

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