Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Social media is mental suicide.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

My body feels like it’s aging in dog years.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Married life: Telling your partner the same sentence 7 days in a row, only for him to say, “You definitely never told me that!”

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,329

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

How do I get recruited by a cult? I need some direction in my life.

Going viral on Discord:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Making waves on X:

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Making waves on TikTok:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Seen just now on X:

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, “They can’t be serious.”

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Shared recently on Slack:

A political guy who supports communism because he hates applying for jobs and just wants to be assigned somewhere.

Funny relationship status quotes

Funny relationship status quotes bring all the laughs 😂 and eye-rolls 🙄 to your love life updates! Whether you’re single, taken, or somewhere in between, these witty lines spice up your profile with charm and cheekiness 💕. Perfect for those moments when words just can’t capture the chaos and joy ❤️‍🔥 of modern romance. Get ready to scroll, smile, and maybe even share a little relationship realness! 😜📱

New funny relationship status quotes 👇

All funny relationship status quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on X this month:

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I’ve never used a semicolon with 100% confidence.

56 shares on Discord this month:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

60 shares on TikTok this month:

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

28 shares on Discord this month:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

47 shares on Reddit this month:

McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

23 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can you imagine how awkward it would be if your pet went on your phone and found the 1,000 pictures you have of them sleeping.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

As a pigeon mother, I would never let my pigeon daughter hang around the station. That’s really no place for a young pigeon lady.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Gaslighting myself into thinking I’m in a good mood.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like how “energy bars” are really just candy bars, and we all pretend to not notice.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,391

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Who else writes “etc.” knowing damn well you don’t have more examples?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t understand all the fuss about ChatGPT – I have teenagers who already know everything.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I now have Taylor Swift as my alarm. Now I always wake up five minutes earlier so I don’t have to listen to it.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m scared to go to an art museum, because what if they decide to keep me?

Breaking via Snapchat:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

Going viral on Reddit:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Live now on Pinterest:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Going viral on Threads:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Making waves on Twitch:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Trending via Facebook:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

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