Wordgag 惄

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log āœØ

Someone from šŸ‡øšŸ‡± has downloaded:

Please be delicate with me, Iā€™m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Someone from šŸ‡³šŸ‡· has shared:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Someone from šŸ‡¹šŸ‡± has shared:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Someone from šŸ‡ØšŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

If a door closes, Iā€™m just going to open it again.

Someone from šŸ‡¦šŸ‡ŗ has copied:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Someone from šŸ‡¹šŸ‡· has bookmarked:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Someone from šŸ‡¬šŸ‡­ has viewed:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from šŸ‡¹šŸ‡“ has bookmarked:

You’re never too old to shout, “Mooooo,” when you drive past some cows.

Someone from šŸ‡ØšŸ‡ŗ has copied:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Someone from šŸ‡ŗšŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Funny Quotes Data šŸ¤“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingā€¦

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log šŸ’«

Going viral on Slack:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Live now on X:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Breaking via Messenger:

The only running I do is to chase the ice cream truck.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Trending via WeChat:

ā€œYou handled that with such graceā€ are words that have never been spoken to me.

Just shared via Instagram:

Turns out, sitting on the porch, feeding birds and squirrels, is a pretty good treatment for depression.

Seen just now on Reddit:

The meteorologist who devised the wind chill factor has died. He was 86, but he felt like 75.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Going bananas on Facebook:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Funny self-respect quotes

Funny self-respect quotes bring a hilarious twist to loving yourself šŸ’ā€ā™€ļøāœØ. They remind us that confidence doesnā€™t have to be serious all the timeā€”sometimes, itā€™s about laughing at lifeā€™s little quirks while standing tall šŸ˜ŽšŸ’Ŗ. Ready to boost your ego with a smile? Get ready for some witty, cheeky lines that celebrate self-worth with a side of humor šŸ˜‚šŸ‘‘!

New funny self-respect quotes šŸ‘‡

All funny self-respect quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes šŸ‘Œ

Funny Quotes Collections
āœØ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ā­

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

56 shares on Slack this month:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

75 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry for zoning out, bro. It’s just, I’ve been having a bad day for several years.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

The best thing about the internet is that youā€™re never the dumbest one here.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Why there is always a kid crying when I go to the store? Dude, you arenā€™t the one paying for it. Stop!

45 shares on Discord this month:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

17 shares on X this month:

January: the Monday of months.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Trending Topics šŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes šŸ’„

23 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

Never wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.

10 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

15 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

12 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

25 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

Is there an app yet that converts voice messages into text messages?

22 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

Itā€™s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, ā€œSo this is why you cancelled our date?ā€, while theyā€™re out with their significant others.

10 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

If you ever feel stupid, just remember there are people who forgive cheating.

8 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

This economy requires two hustlers working together ā€“ not a hustler and a leech. Itā€™s too expensive to be out here carrying dead weight.

17 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

8 folks are currently checking šŸ‘€

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Funny Quotes Data šŸ¤“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingā€¦

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,536

Activity Log āœØ

Someone from šŸ‡³šŸ‡æ has bookmarked:

Reincarnation, in this economy?

Someone from šŸ‡³šŸ‡· has shared:

Adulthood is just always being tired and wondering how you hurt your back.

Someone from šŸ‡¦šŸ‡ø has copied:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesnā€™t mean it.

Someone from šŸ‡æšŸ‡¼ has viewed:

I think itā€™s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

Someone from šŸ‡¦šŸ‡¹ has shared:

Commenting ā€œThis could be usā€ on her pics with her boyfriend.

Someone from šŸ‡æšŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like ā€œUghhh, make me longer!ā€

Someone from šŸ‡¹šŸ‡± has shared:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Someone from šŸ‡øšŸ‡» has viewed:

Hate when youā€™re trying to take a nap and the dentist is all ā€œPlease open your mouth.ā€

Someone from šŸ‡²šŸ‡° has shared:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like PiƱa Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

Someone from šŸ‡øšŸ‡² has bookmarked:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are ā€œthrilledā€ on LinkedIn.

Social Media Log šŸ’«

Shared recently on Twitch:

Sorry boys, but Iā€™ve already got my eyes on a guy whoā€™s not interested.

Just landed via YouTube:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Trending via YouTube:

Coding: Where incessantly talking to yourself seems completely normal and debugging is like being a detective in a movie where you are both the detective and the perpetrator.

Seen just now on X:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars ā€” the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Trending via YouTube:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Making waves on Telegram:

Imagine hating me and Iā€™m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ā€˜In The Air Tonightā€™.

Live now on Snapchat:

I have the sex drive of a potato.

Trending via Slack:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Just shared via Facebook:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Ā© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ā¤ļø in Sydney ā˜€ļøšŸŒ“