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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I hope none of the people I vowed to “help hide a body” ever actually need my help.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Every time I get the urge to clean, I watch Hoarders and I decide my house isn’t that dirty after all.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Those astronauts that just landed? They should be greeted by chimpanzees on horses.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,725

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Making waves on Reddit:

Grant me the serenity to supernaturally change the things I cannot accept.

Just shared via Threads:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I wish I loved exercising as much as I love not exercising.

Trending via X:

If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class… it never ends.

Just landed via Messenger:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Making waves on Threads:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Seen just now on Slack:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Home » Funny Self-respect Quotes

Funny self-respect quotes

Funny self-respect quotes bring a hilarious twist to loving yourself 💁‍♀️✨. They remind us that confidence doesn’t have to be serious all the time—sometimes, it’s about laughing at life’s little quirks while standing tall 😎💪. Ready to boost your ego with a smile? Get ready for some witty, cheeky lines that celebrate self-worth with a side of humor 😂👑!

New funny self-respect quotes 👇

All funny self-respect quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

55 shares on Discord this month:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t always clear my calculator… but when I do, I hit both ‘C’ and ‘CE’ a bunch of times because I don’t know exactly what they do.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people avoid bacon for the sake of religion. I avoid religion for the sake of bacon.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Mrs. Doubtfire is my favorite movie about violating a custody agreement.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I love darkness at 5pm and the death of a nation.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My back hurts too much to lean over anymore, going to have to resort to picking things up with a deep curtsy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,670

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Having a peanut allergy has to be so wild. Like, imagine you’re at a baseball game and there are people chucking bags of rattlesnakes past your head.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Trending via Snapchat:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Just landed via Slack:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Going bananas on Threads:

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

Shared recently on WeChat:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I overthink, therefore I am.

Spotted on Messenger:

Girls want a bad boy to fix. Boys want a good girl to corrupt. Me? I just want a rumbustious monkey as a butler.

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