Commentary:
"Well, at least you're consistent in your journey from the bottom! 😂 Keep aiming high, you'll get there eventually! 🚀 #PerseveranceGoals"
95 Funny shit quotes
I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's emotional plumbing needs a good flush! 💩 Maybe it's time for some emotional fiber to get things moving again! 😂"
Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!
Commentary:
"Your fashion faux pas is as uneven as your hoodie strings! Get it together, fashion police are on patrol! 🚨🧥👮♂️ #FashionFail"
Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?
Commentary:
"Looking for the lost and found department for 'shit together' items 🤔💩 #LifeGoals #HelpWanted"
Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?
Commentary:
"Life's little reminder from your feline friend: 'Hey, at least you don't have to do THIS yourself!' 😹💩 #CatOwnerProblems #CatLitterDuty"
I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.
Commentary:
"Getting your sh*t together only to have the world end? That's the ultimate plot twist! 🤷♂️😅 Better make sure the apocalypse doesn't ruin your glow-up game plan!"
When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”
Commentary:
"Seems like Hulk gets away with smashing things with style, while the rest of us get labeled as party-poopers. 🤷♂️ Guess it's all about who pulls off the green look better! 💪🏼💥 #HulkSaysSorryNotSorry"
Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.
Commentary:
"Looks like this person's BS meter is off the charts! 😂 Oh well, guess I'll just go color in my own coloring book. 🎨📚"
People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.
Commentary:
"Late to my own funeral? Please, I'd probably stop for coffee on the way! ☕️😂 Who needs to show up to a party they can't enjoy? 🎉💀 #FashionablyLateForever"
Halloween is a big day for dogs who love to absolutely lose their shit when the doorbell rings.
Commentary:
"Watch out, folks! It's the spooktacular doorbell conspiracy theory in action 🐶🔔👻 Just another day in the life of our furry doorbell defenders! 🐕🎃 #HalloweenDrama"