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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Starting is the hardest part. Unless it’s eating chocolate. Then stopping is the hardest part.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,649

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

Can everyone log off? I need some time alone right now.

Spotted on X:

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

Trending via TikTok:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Just shared via Telegram:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Like me, the weather is getting cooler around here.

Breaking via Slack:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Seen just now on Threads:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Spotted on Reddit:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Funny ski quotes

Funny ski quotes bring the perfect mix of laughter and snowy adventure to your day ⛷️❄️ Whether you’re a seasoned pro or a first-timer wiping out on the bunny slope, these witty lines capture the thrill, spills, and chills of hitting the mountain 🏔️😂 Get ready to smile, relate, and maybe even share a laugh or two with your ski squad! 🎿🤣

New funny ski quotes 👇

All funny ski quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Morning me just stripped the bedding. Evening me is going to be pissed.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

34 shares on TikTok this month:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.

27 shares on Snapchat this month:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I dreamed I won the lottery, so you can imagine how thrilled I was to wake up and get ready for work.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,615

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

What electric cars and diarrhea have in common is the fear of not making it home.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Trending via Pinterest:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

Making waves on Snapchat:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Spotted on Slack:

The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Seen just now on Messenger:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Spotted on Telegram:

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Just shared via WeChat:

What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

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