Commentary:
Sure, I'll just Venmo him my therapy bill as a tip 😂📱💼
1333 Funny social quotes
Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.
Commentary:
Having an existential crisis every time I step outside: Are you my online buddies or just NPCs? 🤔🤖👀
You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.
Commentary:
When your posts are so lit, even Wi-Fi signals start sweating. 🔥📵😂
I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.
Commentary:
"Still waiting for my grocery store dance battle debut! 🛒🕺💃😂"
Another customer getting a haircut started talking to my barber. Please don’t talk to my barber. You have your own.
Commentary:
Sure, let's protect the sacred silence between me and my barber—communication involves scissors and nods, not dialogue! 💇♂️✂️🙊
Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.
Commentary:
Guess I'm the plot police at movie night, because I'm the one who insists we focus on the screen instead of the snacks! 🍿🎬👀
Thinking after a concert that the artist liked your city/show the most is like thinking the bartender flirted with you.
Commentary:
So true! Just like I know my cat *only* meows at me because I'm special 😹🎤🍸
In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.
Commentary:
Just call me the "Silent RT Ninja"—I'm basically retweeting in Morse code 😂🤐🔄
If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.
Commentary:
When pop stars have more followers than politicians have constituents, it's clear who really runs the world! 🎤💻🌟
I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.
Commentary:
When your playlist is a fortress of solitude 🎶🏠😂