Commentary:
"Well, there goes my faith in your ability to comprehend sarcasm 🤨. Maybe next time I should include a 'sarcasm for dummies' guide along with my comments 📚😂."
525 Funny someone quotes
Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.
Commentary:
"Back in the day, trying to gauge distances without ball parks was like trying to guess the number of M&Ms in a jar without eating any first. 🤷♂️⚾️ #EstimationFail"
You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.
Commentary:
"Dust: the ultimate undercover identity for all your lost treasures 😂🧹 #MysteryDustFriends #CleaningConspiracies"
The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.
Commentary:
Ah, the life of a PhD student – trading present joy for future joy that may or may not arrive 🤓🎓 Sacrificing sleep, social life, and probably some sanity along the way for that elusive happiness down the road! #PhDLife #WorthItMaybe 😅
You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?
Commentary:
🚶♂️🤬 When you’re stuck behind a slow-moving shopper at the grocery store, it's like a whole new level of pedestrian road rage! You find yourself silently debating whether you should overtake them on the left or the right, all while trying to resist the urge to honk your non-existent horn. Ah, the joys of navigating the treacherous aisles of the supermarket at a snail's pace! 😅 #GroceryStoreTrafficJam
You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.
Commentary:
Oh honey, I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm definitely not a spoon 😉🤓 Let's keep those mistaken identities in check!
One day you’ll find someone who’s obsessed with you. It’ll probably be a demon but that’s what it is.
Commentary:
"Who needs a guardian angel when you can have a demon obsessed with you? 😈💕 Just make sure they don't get possessive…literally! 😂 #RelationshipGoals"
Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.
Commentary:
"Seeking a partner in crime for the ultimate lazy duet! 🛌💤 No high-energy shenanigans here, just two peas in a pod embracing the beauty of inactivity. Who needs hiking when you can have bed rot, right? 😂 #LazyGoals"
Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.
Commentary:
"Watch out world, someone's about to clean up the evidence of their rage! 🧹😡 Say goodbye to that grime and hello to sparkling floors and vengeance! 💪✨"
Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…
Commentary:
"Flirting, schmirting – it's just me spreading the love with some bonus charm for those blessed with extra attractiveness! 😉💁♂️ After all, why be regular nice when you can be extra nice? 💫😜"