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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

I have more photos of food on my phone than I do of my children.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Life hack: You can’t be sad if you are asleep.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I don’t know which is worse, people stealing your jokes or people not stealing your jokes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

My favorite game is guessing if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor posture, or a brain tumor.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

10 hours ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Live now on Twitch:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Reported on Telegram:

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

Trending via Twitch:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Live now on Discord:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Live now on Pinterest:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Just shared via Discord:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Home » Funny Squirrels Quotes » Page 2

11 Funny squirrels quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

Updated

10 hours ago

Users Online

3,438

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Aura farming in front of old people by not listening to music nor checking my phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on LinkedIn:

I have no idea how people meet at the gym. I turn into a disgusting, angry swamp witch every time I exercise.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I’m gonna start sending women unsolicited pizza pics.

Spotted on Messenger:

Japan’s greatest tragedy is having the world’s best toilets and no Mexican food. What’s the point of owning a Ferrari if you never take it to the track?

Going viral on TikTok:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Live now on YouTube:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Making waves on Snapchat:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Shared recently on Slack:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Freshly posted on X:

I can relate to the stock market because I am always about to crash at a moment’s notice.

Trending via Snapchat:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Just landed via Instagram:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

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