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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Just know that somebody out there is thinking of you, and you should really lock your doors.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Time Magazine should have a Worst Person of the Year!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

When I’m in a good mood, I go to my blocked list and release one or two prisoners.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

According to your ex, what’s exactly wrong with you?

Seen just now on Slack:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Just shared via TikTok:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Trending via Threads:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Trending via Instagram:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Making waves on YouTube:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped school.

Funny summer body quotes

Funny summer body quotes bring a light-hearted spin to our seasonal fitness aspirations! ☀️😄 From poking fun at the so-called “beach body” to celebrating the joys of summer without the pressure, these quotes offer a playful reminder to enjoy the season and laugh at ourselves along the way. Embrace the humor and make the most of your summer, no matter how your body feels! 🌴🤣

New funny summer body quotes 👇

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

0

2 months ago

better, body, body confidence, confidence, humor, just, lighting, self-deprecating, summer, summer body, winter, winter body
Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, course, fitness, fitness joke, humor, image, joke, ready, same, sarcasm, self-deprecating, summer, summer body, summer humor, sweat, winter, winter body, winter humor
Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

0

2 months ago

body, body image, casual, cosplay, folks, food, food humor, humor, image, joke, potato, seen, self-deprecating, summer, summer body, things
My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

0

2 months ago

body, fitness, humor, pending, procrastination, self-deprecation, summer, summer body, ten, ten years, year’s
Some people have goals based on a summer body. Mine revolve entirely around the weight limit of my beach chairs.

0

2 months ago

beach, beach body, people, summer, summer body

All funny summer body quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Reddit this month:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

12 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

93 shares on Slack this month:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

If a portal opened up in front of me, I’d go in—no questions asked.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

76 shares on TikTok this month:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why make new mistakes when you can keep repeating the same old familiar ones.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you pass out in front of your kids they will either try to call an ambulance or use you as a trampoline. You just don’t know.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My toxic trait is optimism.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The leading cause for injury in old men is them thinking they are still young men.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,247

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I don’t always listen to Metallica, but when I do, so do my neighbors.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Just landed via YouTube:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

Just shared via Discord:

If pigeons and chickens made a tribe, would they be called the coo clucks clan?

Trending via X:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Making waves on Reddit:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

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