Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Caffeine isn’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat a gun.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Spotted on Reddit:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Shared recently on X:

Drugs do not ruin your career. Drug tests do.

Spotted on WeChat:

According to my calculations, we’re all screwed.

Shared recently on Slack:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Going viral on Facebook:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Making waves on TikTok:

There are so many people going to hell. I’m thinking of investing in some property there.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Going bananas on X:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Funny tank quotes

Funny tank quotes 🚀💥 bring a blast of humor to the heavy metal world! Whether you’re a military buff, gamer, or just love clever wordplay, these witty lines roll in with unstoppable laughs 😂🛡️. Get ready to tank your boredom and gear up for some seriously funny moments—because even the toughest machines need a little comic relief! 🎯🔥

New funny tank quotes 👇

All funny tank quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Instagram this month:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

48 shares on Facebook this month:

What you call “Brunch” I call “Breakfast for Alcoholics.”

99 shares on Slack this month:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Stopped using exclamation points in work messages so my coworkers know they’ve killed my spirit.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

20 shares on YouTube this month:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Evenings after work finish too quickly, one meal, one show, and it’s already tomorrow morning.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Not gonna lie, the age I’m turning this year sounds a little serious, and I don’t like it.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

My apologies to the Goodreads reviewer who found my novel about vampires on a submarine, “unrealistic.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Got fired from my job at the zoo because I kept trying to wax the turtles.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate commas. It’s not my job to tell you when you breathe. Work it out, you’re a grown adult.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This Thanksgiving, don’t ask me questions about my life, just pass the mashed potatoes.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,360

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My favorite Christmas Eve tradition is the one where I tell my kids we have to get the house spotless, or Santa won’t come.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Getting older means talking to less people and complaining about more people.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Trending via Facebook:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

One time I refused to buy a watch because it was only waterproof to 100 meters. Not sure what sort of future I was imagining for myself there.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Trending via Messenger:

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

It may sound crazy but some of us are nice without hidden agendas.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m so hungry, I could eat a full-time job with health insurance.

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