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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Chip bags should be clear, show me what you want me to pay $6 for, cowards.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Spotted on Discord:

Girl math is crying for two hours and then realizing it wasn’t that deep.

Making waves on Discord:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Just landed via Messenger:

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Shared recently on TikTok:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Just landed via Discord:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

786 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,948

Funny Quotes Topics

13,918

Funny Quotes Images

10,948

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Going viral on Slack:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sunrises are really beautiful, but the timing is rather bad.

Spotted on Twitch:

They’re making me do work at work.

Breaking via TikTok:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I can admit that I am intrigued by people weirder than I am.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Reported on Discord:

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

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