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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

How old were you when you realized others couldn’t see the matrix?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Just shared via Slack:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Breaking via Discord:

Armed robbers are so weird. Why are you beating me when I don’t have money?

Making waves on WeChat:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Trending via YouTube:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Proposing at someone else’s wedding is out. Die at their funeral like a real man.

Just landed via WeChat:

We could all be hibernating right now but noooooo we have to be “adults” with “responsibilities”.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

819 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,981

Funny Quotes Topics

13,924

Funny Quotes Images

10,981

Updated

50 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Roman soldiers are all like “I’m going to fight you in this short yet tasteful leather skirt.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Going viral on X:

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

Spotted on Discord:

Sure sex is cool, but have you ever farted away a stomachache?

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Broadcasted on X:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Just landed via Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Going viral on Reddit:

Some people are like sunglasses: your day just becomes so much brighter when you accidentally drop them off the side of the boat.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

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