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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Twitter is fun. You kinda just talk to yourself and sometimes someone replies.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

My OnlyFans is just hours of me untangling Christmas lights.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

You know how a dog tilts his head and looks confused when he hears a strange sound? Yeah, that’s how I feel when some people are talking.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,306

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Going viral on Discord:

Slowly descending into madness. Anyone want anything?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I only accept apologies in cash.

Going viral on X:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I put my pants on like everyone else. With hope they still fit.

Seen just now on Slack:

Santa has the right idea: only visit people once a year, eat a snack, leave early.

Just shared via Facebook:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Funny vomit quotes

Funny vomit quotes 🤢😂 bring a hilarious twist to one of life’s messiest moments! Whether it’s from wild nights out or unexpected surprises, these witty lines turn yuck into chuckles. Ready to laugh through the gross? Dive into a collection that’s equal parts cringe and comedy, perfect for sharing with friends who appreciate humor with a little edge! 💩🤣✨

New funny vomit quotes 👇

All funny vomit quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Cookbook, but each recipe includes a photo of all the dishes that need to be cleaned after making it.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I got bills. They’re multiplying.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

49 shares on Discord this month:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Even on the coldest of days, there’s such peace found in the warm embrace of a hot pizza.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re a dude and you’re having a bad day, just remember, no one cares.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I can’t talk right now. The seam of my sock feels weird.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,468

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

You ever meet an all-male friend group that is less a group of friends than it is “one guy and his henchmen”?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

At my age, a trail of clothes leading to the bedroom, means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a Like.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not a jar of Nutella.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Alexa, mute my children.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Making waves on Messenger:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Tattoos are a great convo starter. So as an introvert, I kinda regret getting them.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I miss my Dad opening the windows and talking about cross-ventilation.

Spotted on Threads:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m not a fan of camping, if I wanted to sleep outside I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Going viral on YouTube:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Freshly posted on X:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

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