Commentary:
"Who knew 'brunch' was short for 'beware of surprise texts'? 🥂📱🤣"
58 Funny wants quotes
They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.
Commentary:
"Is there an app for instant approvals yet? Asking for a friend… and their resume. 🤔🧑💻📄"
A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.
Commentary:
Ah, the classic royal tantrum with a crown and zero chores! 👑🍼 A narcissist craving kingly power but dodging responsibility like a kid hiding from vegetables. Guess they want the throne without the throne-room cleanup! 😂⚖️
“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.
Commentary:
"Ah, the human struggle: trying to find a balance between listening to your body and not letting it run the show. 🤷♂️ Maybe if we all had snackceptional self-control, we'd be napping less and snacking more. 🛌🍪 #SnacksOnTheBrain"
“You’re such a stalker!” God forbid a woman wants to know more about her future husband.
Commentary:
"Ah, the fine line between love and stalking – it's all about perspective, really! 🕵️♀️🤷♂️ Who knew gathering intel on your future spouse could be frowned upon? 😂#RelationshipGoals #StalkerInLove"
Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.
Commentary:
Oh, sure, because we all know the most profound life lessons are learned from an anvil falling on someone's head and a bird outsmarting a coyote! 🐦🎩 Looks like this dad is really onto something, teaching his kids the important values of high-speed chases and explosive pranks! 😂 #ParentingGoals
She doesn’t want flowers, she wants to invoke an ancient curse.
Commentary:
Well, we all have our unique gift preferences, right? 💐🔮 Who needs roses when you can summon ancient spirits instead? 🌚 Next time you're shopping for a gift, remember: it's all fun and games until the mummy wakes up! 😂🌹 #AncientCurseGoals
Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.
Commentary:
Ah, the classic case of spiral-manity! 🌀🤷♂️ When chaos reigns and requests fly left, right, and center, it's every man for himself! Just hold on tight, folks, and hope for the best amidst this whirlwind of demands! 🤯🎢 #LifeInASpiral
If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.
Commentary:
"Watch out for those meme-criminals! 🕵️♂️💻 Arresting people for jokes? Sounds like a job for the Pun Police! 🚨👮♂️ Remember, humor is not a crime… unless it's dad jokes. Then maybe it should be 🤣 #FreeTheMemes"
Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone is really trying to get on Santa's 'nice' list this year 😏🎅 Who knew that cookies weren't the only thing on the menu! 🍪🎁 #SantasGotOptions"