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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Just shared via Facebook:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Making waves on Slack:

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

Broadcasted on Threads:

You wish you had this many chins.

Just landed via Threads:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Just shared via X:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Happy new fear!

Live now on TikTok:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

823 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,985

Funny Quotes Topics

13,927

Funny Quotes Images

10,985

Updated

11 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Trending via Discord:

I’m so smart, I got rid of cable and now I only have $638 in monthly streaming services.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Making waves on Reddit:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m proud to announce that am winning my fight against sobriety.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Spotted on YouTube:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Why do coffee beans smell so good, and coffee breath is like bleh?

Making waves on Discord:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

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