Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I can remember things that never happened.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until they turn a spoon the wrong way under running water.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,575

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand baby oil. What are we greasing up all those babies for?

Shared recently on Discord:

The most important thing to remember when driving is that not everyone is smart.

Live now on WeChat:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’ve reached the age where I would rather go to a hardware store than a club.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Breaking via Messenger:

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Just landed via TikTok:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My favorite yoga pose is the one where you eat a sandwich.

Seen just now on Threads:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Living the high life: gourmet room service, epic TV flops, and the hope that the gym cancels out the dessert 🍕📺🏊‍♂️🍰

Airbnb, amenity, bed, cable, cable television, eating, gym, hell, hotel, humor, i, leisure, love, pool, relaxation, room, room service, service, show, staying, swimming, swimming pool, television, time, TV, TV Show, using, vacation, watch, while, working, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

0

2 months ago

adult, being, challenge, decision, dinner, every, everyday, everyday challenge, humor, night, nightly, single, struggle, struggles
Is this simulation from Temu?

0

3 months ago

humor, question, simulation, Temu
I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

0

2 months ago

activity, before, coworkers, fun, fun activity, hand, hand stamper, home, humor, i, night, own, prank, stamper, think, workplace, workplace humor
Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

0

2 months ago

art, comedy, empty, humor, irony, minimalism, money, pocket, pockets, satire, zen
Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

0

2 months ago

confidence, earlier, humor, i, insult, insulting, me, myself, sarcasm, self, self-talk, wit, work
The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

0

2 months ago

another, employment, finding, humor, i, job, problem, want, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Hopefully it won’t be as bad as it already is.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

65 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

65 shares on X this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

39 shares on Telegram this month:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Remember when the most annoying thing about Twitter was trying to think of a shorter word.

63 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when someone you love says mean things like, “It’s time to wake up.”

46 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

The worst part about being in your 40s is the 10 years of listening to people say, “Wait till you’re 50.”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Going viral on YouTube:

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Live now on Snapchat:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Twitter actually is my diary, so you’re not allowed to get mad at the things I post. You’re not even supposed to be reading this. Why were you going through my stuff?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

Live now on Telegram:

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Australia is like someone’s still playing Jumanji.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

In 2007, if you wore a long-sleeve T-shirt under a regular T-shirt, it meant that you liked music.

Just shared via TikTok:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Is this simulation from Temu?

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Zen and the Art of Empty Pockets.

Insulting me won’t work. I already said that to myself earlier.

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨