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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Your email finds me deeply unwell. Teetering on the edge really.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

For Christmas, I’d like to be understood.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,521

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Just landed via Twitch:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Making waves on Threads:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I should’ve gotten my affairs in order before I decided to bite into this hot pepper.

Trending via Telegram:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you’re thinking of becoming a parent, just imagine working 6,570 days straight without a day off.

Just landed via Instagram:

Piñatas are a fun way to intentionally maim the guests at your party.

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Procrastination level: expert 😅⏳ Maybe I'll join you… tomorrow!

discipline, humor, i, motivation, need, procrastinate, procrastination, self-control, starting, stop, tomorrow

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Running from your problems is cardio.

0

2 months ago

avoidance, cardio, exercise, fitness, humor, problems, running
I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

0

2 months ago

abuse, dying, humor, i, me, people, sarcasm
I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

0

2 months ago

dying, hear, humor, i, just, know, mindset, Monday, motivation, needs, positivity, reassurance, stress, workweek
When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

0

2 months ago

ding, excuse, humor, just, kids, parenting, response, say, someone
Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

0

4 months ago

asking, ever, going, height, humor, man, men, question, ragebait, tall, trolling, wish
If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

0

2 months ago

choice, drama, dramatic, empowerment, exit, finale, humor, independence, leave, Netflix, option, relationship, season, self-respect, treat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a January that doesn’t drain your will to live.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

If you need me, I will be at the library sniffing old books.

52 shares on Reddit this month:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

66 shares on X this month:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

60 shares on X this month:

If a demon ever possessed me, I’d just sit back and say, “Your problem now.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Forget all this adulting stuff, let’s bring back Saturday morning cartoons.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Just shared via Discord:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Freshly posted on Slack:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Live now on Threads:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

Trending via Threads:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

Just landed via Facebook:

“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Running from your problems is cardio.

I don’t have to take this abuse from you; I’ve got hundreds of people dying to abuse me.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨