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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Getting tired without doing anything is an art form.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,623

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Being a woman is trying to guess what the hell is going on with your body three times a week.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Just landed via Messenger:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Netflix will help you finish the name of the movie you’re typing, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Making waves on Instagram:

My problem is I always think I can get ready in 15 minutes when I have repeatedly proven that I can’t.

Trending via Telegram:

In my 20s: Jingle all the way. In my 40s: Jingle til around ten.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The world is my oyster and I’m allergic to shellfish.

Spotted on YouTube:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why not dance like nobody's watching when even the universe has no idea what's going on! 🌌🕺🎉

feel, fun, humor, i, life, matters, need, nihilism, nothing, philosophy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

0

3 months ago

caution, humor, Monday, motivation, warning, weekday, workday
I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

0

2 months ago

ago, consequence, consequences, email, emails, fine, humor, i, procrastination, responding, response, silence, stopped, three
You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

0

2 months ago

anything, early, fun, humor, humor quote, meeting, motivation, office, office humor, person, procrastination, productivity, sarcasm, workplace
If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

0

2 months ago

daylight, humor, irony, keep, learn, never, save, saving, self-sufficiency
I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

0

2 months ago

doing, expectations, hate, humor, i, life, me, people, planning, procrastination, today, tomorrow, uncertainty
time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

0

2 days ago

chase, chasing, fear, healing, humor, joke, knife, me, pain, time, wound, wounds, wrong

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m officially at the age where I enjoy when people cancel plans.

31 shares on Instagram this month:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

57 shares on Discord this month:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

Being an adult is spending every day looking at a pill bottle, wondering, “Did I take this already?”

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I use a Windows computer, it’s like they built malware into the OS. Like, what do you mean there are ads in the start menu?

82 shares on Instagram this month:

Adulthood is realising no one cares about you, and the show must go on.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

At this point, Tom Cruise is a stuntman who does his own acting.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Why did they call it long distance running and not fardio?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I’m sick of diarrhea. I want to livarrhea.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I avoid those club cameras like my life depends on it.

Spotted on YouTube:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

They say the best things take time. That’s why I’m always late.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

Trending via Telegram:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Stay up till 4 a.m. one night, and your sleep schedule is ruined for the next 4 years.

Just landed via Instagram:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Look, ice cream has eggs in it, therefore it is a breakfast food.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

It’s Monday, proceed with caution.

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨