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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

What idiot called it Catfishing your Tinder Contacts and not Playing With Matches?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,637

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Sorry, I said yippee when you took off your pants. Do you still think I’m hot?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Making waves on Reddit:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work.

Just landed via Facebook:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Shared recently on Twitch:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Going viral on Discord:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains they’re currently eating.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Live now on YouTube:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

This post is highly top-secret. You need to forget that you’ve seen it immediately.

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

2 months ago

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Like asking if I've got just one potato chip: impossible! 😂📱🍟

communication, conversation, fall, humor, message, minute, phone, someone, text, texts, time, trick

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Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t blame the alcohol. You were an idiot before you started drinking.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve decided to give people an attitude instead of gifts this year.

96 shares on Slack this month:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

“You’re under the weather?” We all are, idiot. It’s in the sky.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

After being raised on Disney movies, I’m very disappointed how few adult problems can be solved by a good song and dance.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Spotted on Discord:

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

Spotted on Facebook:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Going viral on Facebook:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Going viral on X:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You ran a half marathon? That’s really cool, I’ve almost finished a bunch of things, too.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Just shared via Twitch:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

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Activity Log ✨

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If someone texts “Do you have a minute,” it’s a trick. Don’t fall for it.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My mouth moves faster than my survival instincts.

You’re still ragebaiting? Everyone is on vagueposting now. Keep up.

“Made with love,” means I licked the spoon and kept using it.

It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨