I’m like the Temu version of a well-functioning adult.

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The question is, what will kill humanity this century? Artificial intelligence or natural stupidity?

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Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’

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This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

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Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

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My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

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My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

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“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

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The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

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I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3am coming back from the club.

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My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.