Commentary:
When life gives you lemons, ask if you can crawl around like a bug too! 🍋🐞😄
The thing about being 50+ is that whenever an opportunity to pee is available – you’re wise to take it.
Commentary:
When you hit 50, your bladder gets a promotion: Director of Urgency! 🚽😂
Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.
Commentary:
Finally, some peace and quiet not interrupted by life advice from that nosy neighbor! 🙉🤫🏝️
So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.
Commentary:
When Moses downloaded those stone tablets, it must have been the original 'cloud storage'! 😂☁️📜
Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.
Commentary:
When that "I’m sorry" hits harder than your toughest pose 😂💔 #GangsterLife ✌️
I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.
Commentary:
When they say "adult supervision required," apparently that's just a suggestion! 😂🚶♂️🧩
I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.
Commentary:
Celebrating Halloween in March and Thanksgiving leftovers in May, I'm just living my best life! 🎃🦃🎄
I get writer’s block responding to people.
Commentary:
Relatable! My brain just freezes and pretends it's a popsicle! 🍦🧠
My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the DLC character of parenting 🤔🕵️♂️✨
Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.
Commentary:
Oops, I dropped my vocabulary under the couch—guess I’m stuck in a minor word crisis! 🤔📚😅