Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of pretending you're the only one in the room while everyone's eyes are laser-focused on you 🕶️😏 Master the skill of selective visibility and you'll be the stealthiest social ninja around! 🦸‍♂️👀"

awkwardness, humor, notice, people, pretending, skill, social, staring

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

0

2 months ago

40s, actor, adult, adult humor, aging, best, bra, bras, humor, menopause, Oscar, role, support, supportive, welcome, women
People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

0

2 months ago

annoy, humor, i, interaction, life, me, online, people, real, real life, sarcasm, social, social interaction
I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

0

2 months ago

always, bandana, canine, dog, gang, gone, groomer, home, hours, humor, i, love, loyalty, only, pet, three, time, transformation
Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

0

4 weeks ago

cryptic, divine, dream, dreams, gut, gut instinct, instinct, intuition, source, symbolism
Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

0

2 months ago

accidentally, closed, closure, humor, just, meaning, past, procrastination, read, tab, time
My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

0

2 months ago

activity, car, humor, just, making, me, noise, noises, singing, strange, strange noise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

“The Nightmare Before Christmas” just means, January 1st – December 24th.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.

40 shares on Slack this month:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. “I’m too old for this shit” is now your excuse and explanation for everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I don’t see why walking is healthy. Zombies walk constantly and they look awful.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Just shared via X:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Making waves on Facebook:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It’s too bad he never woke up and chose violence. “Bob Ross, mob boss” has a nice ring to it.

Going viral on Twitch:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

Making waves on X:

Actors in black and white movies were often putting their lives in danger during driving scenes, as they weren’t able to tell if the traffic light was red or green.

Trending via Messenger:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Just landed via Twitch:

At least life has music.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨