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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I’m so lazy that I get jealous when it’s bedtime in other countries.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,957

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Breaking via Messenger:

I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Going viral on Twitch:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Just shared via Instagram:

I have never in my life learned from another person’s mistakes, I would literally let a giant wooden horse into my house right this second.

Seen just now on X:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Just shared via Messenger:

The most embarrassing thing in the world is when you make a fool of yourself in front of a baby and it doesn’t laugh.

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Exploring new territories—gastro-ventures and more! 🌍🍽️😏 #BiteAndSeek"

adventure, anthony, Anthony Bourdain, bourdain, calls, cooking, eat, food, foodie, humor, i, me, parts, playful, relationship, reservations, restaurant, restaurant humor, unknown

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

1 month ago
emotion, feelings, humor, i, joke, play, sarcasm
I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

1 month ago
button, freeze, having, humor, i, issues, just, meetings, need, network, productivity, remote, remote work, screen, technology, where, work, Zoom
I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

1 month ago
better, humor, i, making, me, resolution, Resolutions, self-improvement, think, time, year’s
If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

1 month ago
conversation, DMs, humor, looking, open, place, quiet, quiet place, self-talk, talk, yourself
There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

1 month ago
clutter, days, drive, drive by, everyday, everyday life, funny observation, having, house, humor, i, just, life, live, living, never, observation, sale, tell, yard, yard sale
Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

2 months ago
anxiety, apology, back, communication, humor, i, interaction, introvert, people, social, social anxiety, social interaction, sorry, talking, text, texting

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Snow White and the seven dwarves of the menopause; Itchy, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Bloated, Forgetful, and Psycho.

Shared recently on Discord:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Seen just now on Threads:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Making waves on TikTok:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

Trending via TikTok:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

You can always tell it’s Monday because nobody’s smiling.

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Iced coffee and crying, the most Californian afternoon.

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

I brake for no one, except squirrels.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Humble enough to know I can be replaced, but wise enough to know ain’t nobody else like me.

After I drink coffee, I show my empty cup to the IT guy and say that I have successfully installed Java. He hates me.

I wear sunglasses when I’m driving so nobody knows I’m asleep.

It’s only a family vacation if you think “We’re never doing this again” at least once.

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

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Activity Log ✨

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Sorry, I didn’t text back. I don’t like talking to people anymore.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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