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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

My DNA came back saying I come from a wide selection of cheeses.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Forget tagging friends, I want to be able to tag my enemies.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Googled my symptoms and it turns out it’s just the politics.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

I really hope that I look like the mirror version of me, and not the camera version.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Just landed via Instagram:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Going bananas on Slack:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Trending via WeChat:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Just landed via X:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Exploring new territories—gastro-ventures and more! 🌍🍽️😏 #BiteAndSeek"

adventure, anthony, Anthony Bourdain, bourdain, calls, cooking, eat, food, foodie, humor, i, me, parts, playful, relationship, reservations, restaurant, restaurant humor, unknown

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

0

2 months ago

advice, coping, dog, eat, handle, humor, just, pee, play, situation, stress, walk
Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

0

2 months ago

breakup, dining, disappointment, ever, expectations, experience, food, hard, humor, relationship
I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

0

2 months ago

here, humor, i, just, presence, sarcasm, wish
I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

0

2 months ago

control, disappointment, even, humor, i, remote, remote control, sad, universal, universal remote, universe
“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

0

6 months ago

budget, clothing, eating, finance, food, humor, lifestyle, money, spending, where
I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

0

4 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, Bob, Bob Ross, cloud, clouds, fluff, fluffy, humor, i, ross, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on Facebook this month:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

93 shares on Facebook this month:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

85 shares on Threads this month:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

37 shares on X this month:

Ugh, sometimes I just wish there was a song about liking to move it, move it.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

66 shares on Facebook this month:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

10 shares on Threads this month:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

12 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Love how Batman: The Animated Series seems to take place in the 40s and the 50s and the 70s and the 90s all at once.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

Just landed via Instagram:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I don’t understand, “kill them with kindness”; can I use a lightsaber instead?

Seen just now on YouTube:

Olympic gymnast: does the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life. Announcer: Oh dear, that will be a point deduction.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Making waves on Telegram:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Going viral on WeChat:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Just shared via Twitch:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

“Where did all your money go?” I’m either wearing it or eating it.

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨