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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has downloaded:

The ’90s were a time of blissful ignorance where we expected rock stars to sleep with groupies.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has downloaded:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

Why learn new slang? Stay bogus.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡¦ has viewed:

I need a break from me.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡Ύ has shared:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¬ has shared:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ί has shared:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡² has copied:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,279

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Seen just now on Facebook:

They should invent a β€œstay signed in” checkbox that isn’t meaningless.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Whoever first said, β€œI’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Trending via Reddit:

Welcome to Twitter, someone from an unhappy home will attend to you shortly.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Cleaning your kid’s room will piss you off, cause why is my Airfryer in here?

Shared recently on WeChat:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Going viral on Slack:

I think God was high when he made me.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Spotted on Messenger:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Seen just now on Threads:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.

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Snakes don’t hiss anymore, they call you babe, bro, or friend.
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Commentary:
Looks like the reptiles have updated their vocabulary, watch out for those smooth-talking serpents! πŸπŸ˜‚πŸ—£οΈ

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on X this month:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

18 shares on X this month:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

90 shares on Facebook this month:

How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

69 shares on Discord this month:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

45 shares on X this month:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I have some fart jokes I’ve been holding in.

20 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡΄ has viewed:

Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡² has shared:

Mice after a breakup be like β€œwe are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡· has shared:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Very disappointed to find out that the universal remote control I bought does not control the universe.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡¬ has bookmarked:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from πŸ‡―πŸ‡΅ has copied:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has viewed:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ί has copied:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Someone from πŸ‡·πŸ‡Ό has copied:

Cheating on a partner should affect your credit score.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just landed via Slack:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Just shared via Discord:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Trending via TikTok:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Trending via YouTube:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Just shared via Threads:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m going to need to speak with the flowers about this.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

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