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Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

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Updated

Jan 19, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Pinterest:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Trending via Facebook:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Breaking via Telegram:

The only time anyone should watch the news is to study how psychological manipulation works on the general public.

Making waves on Twitch:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Live now on Threads:

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

Live now on Twitch:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

My doctor just diagnosed me with anxiety and constipation. Now I’m worried shitless.

Live now on Snapchat:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean it won’t be a good time.

Trending via Instagram:

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

20 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Funny text about wanting to ditch social media and toss the phone into a river.

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Commentary:
Probably not a great idea unless you've mastered the art of skipping phones instead of stones 😂📱💦

delete, detox, digital, digital detox, frustration, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, phone, relief, river, social, social media, sometimes, stress, stress relief, technology, throw

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50 shares on Threads this month:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

99 shares on WeChat this month:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me waking up: wow, I can’t wait to go to sleep tonight.

23 shares on Slack this month:

Arab perfumes have zero chill… the entire street knows you’ve arrived.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

65 shares on Slack this month:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

85 shares on YouTube this month:

When your name is Jenn, people think it’s short for Jennifer, but it’s really short for Jennatalia.

10 shares on X this month:

Checking Twitter now is like staring into your refrigerator to see if anything good has magically appeared.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Kettlebells? I thought you said kettle chips.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Just found out it don’t matter how early I go to bed, I just don’t wanna go to work.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Making waves on Twitch:

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

Making waves on Slack:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

Seen just now on Threads:

There are two types of people at work: Those who work and those who have become pros at looking busy.

Just shared via Instagram:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Seen just now on X:

If you’re the type of person who likes to be left alone, I’m with you. Better yet, I’m not with you.

Just shared via Messenger:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

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Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨