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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

70 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,339

Funny Quotes Topics

17,458

Funny Quotes Images

15,339

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Just shared via Reddit:

There should be significant punishments for people at the grocery store with no spatial awareness.

Going viral on Twitch:

Maybe we should put monkeys in charge for a while just to see how it goes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Just landed via Twitch:

The reason most of us stay up late is because we don’t want our free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Breaking via WeChat:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I admire the audacity of beavers, they just move to a new area and say “screw the neighbors, imma put a lake here”.

Just landed via YouTube:

My family passed down mood swings and anxiety instead of money or houses.

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the lion just checked its inbox after vacation! 🦁📧😅

actually, animal, concern, humor, lion, pretty, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

0

2 months ago

apology, cause, gain, harm, honesty, humor, i, lie, manipulation, material, material gain, only, prove, psychological, psychological harm, sarcasm, smarter, sorry
The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

0

2 months ago

comparison, date, dating, expectations, fish, humor, ocean, pool, problem, relationship
I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

0

2 months ago

aging, body, day, decision, ear, hair, humor, i, just, know, love, need
Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

0

2 months ago

able, body, disassemble, enough, exercise, flexibility, humor, i, Lego, legos, need, stretching
To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

0

2 months ago

apology, everyone, humor, next, next year, place, repeat, same, same place, same time, time, wrong, wronged, year
The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

0

1 month ago

being, best, celebration, family, food, friend, friends, gathering, holiday, pie, Thanksgiving

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve found that the easiest way to do burpees is to just not do burpees. No pain, no pain.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

They say white people don’t have their own culture, but I just got invited to a gender reveal party for a dog, and there’s no way we appropriated that from anyone else.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

84 shares on X this month:

Y’all ever skip a class and then have the post-skip class depression? Like, damn, I should’ve just gone.

81 shares on X this month:

We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Social media can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

All these years on the internet we have been working for artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Stop being so boyfriendable if you can’t be my boyfriend.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Trending via Threads:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Making waves on Instagram:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Trending via Slack:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

Just shared via Facebook:

My friends wife threatened to leave him over his Star Wars collectibles and I was like “divorce is strong in this one”.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Going viral on Discord:

Attention to detail is so sexy, study me, baby.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Remember when you were a kid, you slept on the couch and without saying anything you found yourself in your bed. Now you sleep in your bed and if you say anything, you end up on the couch.

Just landed via Twitch:

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

I love how one day my body just decided “You know what you really need is some ear hair.”

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

The best part of Thanksgiving is being with family and friends, and a vast array of pies.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨