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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

“You smell so good!” Okay, so kiss me.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m so lucky people can’t hear what I’m thinking.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Shared recently on Messenger:

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Making waves on Telegram:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I changed my alarm clock sound to an applause, it’s the least I deserve for waking up at 7am.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Just landed via Twitch:

The Gen Z stare. The millennial pause. Instead, let’s talk about the boomer inappropriate personal question.

Spotted on Messenger:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Live now on YouTube:

Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

4 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like the lion just checked its inbox after vacation! 🦁📧😅

actually, animal, concern, humor, lion, pretty, right

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

0

2 months ago

attitude, humor, i, independence, order, sorry, suggestion
There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

0

4 months ago

1, advertising, break, commercial, commercials, day, entertainment, humor, media, month, should, television
Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

0

2 months ago

allergy, breath, exercise, fitness, heart, humor, i, irony, once, racing, sweating
You are the Monday of my life.

0

2 months ago

comparison, day, feelings, humor, life, Monday, negativity, relationship
Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

0

2 months ago

caffeine, coffee, dinosaur, dinosaurs, extinction, humor, irony, prehistoric
“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

0

2 months ago

actually, cut, cut off, girl, God, humor, quick, relationships, self-respect, someone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Threads this month:

If we hadn’t made them extinct, instead of Kung Fu Panda we could have had Tae Kwon Dodo.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

I really miss my family… sized bag of crisps.

60 shares on YouTube this month:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

69 shares on Slack this month:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

65 shares on Threads this month:

You don’t scare me. I used to have to call and ask a girl’s parents if she was there.

86 shares on X this month:

Play the Grindr notification noise at Christmas dinner to see which conservative relatives panickedly check their phone ringer.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Not to brag but I don’t even need meditation, my mind goes blank the second someone asks me for directions.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Shared recently on Messenger:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Shared recently on X:

Hate it when my alarm goes off in the morning, and I’m still alive.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Seen just now on X:

Life hack: Allow yourself 8–12 hours of alone time every morning to prepare for the day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The lion is actually pretty concerned right now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barely take suggestions.

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

You are the Monday of my life.

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨