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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡Ύ has downloaded:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡ͺ has shared:

Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ό has copied:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡² has copied:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡­ has shared:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡¬ has downloaded:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ͺ has copied:

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra β€” wash one, and two more appear.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡» has shared:

I calculated my December budget and realized everyone is getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡° has bookmarked:

If you scroll Twitter long enough, you too can burn calories by shaking your head.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,255

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Shared recently on Messenger:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Trending via Instagram:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Spotted on WeChat:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Live now on Messenger:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Live now on WeChat:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Going viral on WeChat:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Shared recently on TikTok:

A little sign under the doorbell that says, β€œthink twice, adventurer.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Going viral on Threads:

150 years ago, you could just fake your death and go overseas and live a completely different life if you didn’t like the way the cards were originally dealt.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

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The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.
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Commentary:
"Trying to reason with someone holding onto stupid views is like trying to teach a cat to bark πŸ™€πŸΆ It's an uphill battle, my friend! But hey, at least you'll have some amusing stories to share at parties πŸŽ‰ #FoolishFolks #ChallengingConversations"

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Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

87 shares on Twitch this month:

Why are conclusions necessary in essays? Were you not following?

48 shares on Threads this month:

So far, every Miss Universe winner has been from Earth.

91 shares on Slack this month:

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

23 shares on X this month:

I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

76 shares on X this month:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m going to become more attractive or more delusional; I haven’t decided yet.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

So sad. Elvis died before he could see the Lego movie. He woulda been like, ‘Mama, those blocks are movin’ and shakin.’

6 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to β€œget those beans brewing”.

13 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

18 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œYour password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

5 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

24 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,347

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Ten million people accused me of exaggerating today.

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡Ύ has bookmarked:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡΄ has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, where the hair shows up uninvited and looks pissed to be here.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡· has shared:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡© has bookmarked:

Fun fact: the creator of Barbie and the creator of Hot Wheels were husband and wife.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡³ has viewed:

People watching you so close, you’d think you were a Netflix series.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡¨ has copied:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via X:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

If you buy something with a lifetime warranty and it breaks, the manufacturer will send a hitman to your house.

Seen just now on Instagram:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Just landed via Pinterest:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Just shared via TikTok:

I be like, β€œI needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

Just shared via WeChat:

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

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