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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I have no desire to rekindle anything with anyone. See you never.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

“You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

After cooking show a dishwashing show with same host but kind of drunk.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,489

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Just landed via TikTok:

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

Just landed via Reddit:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Just landed via Reddit:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Just shared via Snapchat:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Having now listened to the entire song, I have to say there’s some obvious internal disagreement as to what the Hokey Pokey is all about.

Just shared via Discord:

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

Live now on Snapchat:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Looks like your company's "reply all" game is as strong as a wet noodle in a tornado 🌪️🍝 Don't worry, you're not alone in the struggle of managing email etiquette! Maybe consider hosting a workshop on the delicate art of hitting that "Reply All" button 💌💥

communication, company, email, etiquette, humor, know, office, people, reply, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

30 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When your stomach is really mad at you, and you’re not sure which one of your 13 unhealthy lifestyle choices is causing it.

11 shares on Messenger this month:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

98 shares on WeChat this month:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

As per my last curse, I have no interest in this.

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do babies cry when they are tired? Like, just go to sleep, bro, no one is stopping you.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The number of times I stand in a room, staring because I forgot why I walked in there, is embarrassingly high.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Flirting with submissives is actually really easy. All you gotta do is send a gif of a small animal and say, ‘This is so you.’

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I’ve been a main character since birth.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Making waves on Facebook:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Just shared via X:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Seen just now on Reddit:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Going bananas on Facebook:

How are there low birth rates when everyone here is a big baby?

Just shared via Reddit:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

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