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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Feeling weird from my cookie-based diet.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Turning in bad essays to professors you have a personal relationship with is the most humiliating thing ever.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

If you’re looking for a quiet place to talk to yourself, my DMs are open.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

If you need time alone, just announce that you need help cleaning the cats litter box.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Fifteen years ago, makeup was all powders and dusts. But now, it’s all goo and liquid. From this, I can infer that by 2040, it will all be made of pigmented gases.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,794

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

My superpower is embarrassing myself.

Just landed via Facebook:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

Going viral on Facebook:

An alcoholic morning show host becoming Secretary of War is some Kurt Vonnegut shit.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Just shared via Reddit:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Trending via Telegram:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Making waves on Messenger:

I disagree with my politics.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

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There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.
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Commentary:
Looks like your company's "reply all" game is as strong as a wet noodle in a tornado 🌪️🍝 Don't worry, you're not alone in the struggle of managing email etiquette! Maybe consider hosting a workshop on the delicate art of hitting that "Reply All" button 💌💥

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

26 shares on Pinterest this month:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

70 shares on Snapchat this month:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

82 shares on Reddit this month:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Manifesting you in my bed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it becomes a soap opera.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,777

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

If I buy the circus, the monkey will be the manager.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Just landed via X:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Just landed via Facebook:

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Making waves on Slack:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.

Just landed via Telegram:

Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

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