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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I forgot my password, failed the captcha and have been accused of being a robot. I don’t even know how to fight these allegations.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

The haters said I couldn’t do it. And the haters? They were right. They were correct. They even nailed the small details, frankly it’s amazing.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Just shared via Threads:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Spotted on Discord:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Trending via Instagram:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Spotted on WeChat:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

And then one day, life was like… hold my beer.

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Commentary:
When life decided to go full blockbuster mode, popcorn was not enough 🍿😂🍺

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.

47 shares on Messenger this month:

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

Not going is the new leaving early.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

25 shares on Facebook this month:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

96 shares on Twitch this month:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

52 shares on Pinterest this month:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

24 shares on Discord this month:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ramen is just anime spaghetti.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

9am: anything is possible. 2pm: maybe tomorrow.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep moving, lady, I don’t have room for you in my delusions right now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50’s; you can have a really good laugh at everyone moaning about their aches and pains in their 30’s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,456

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Can it still be an emotional support animal if the animal doesn’t want to participate? Asking for my cat.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Showering & getting in bed is literally one of the best combos ever.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Making waves on Telegram:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Just landed via X:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The endings of Lost and Game of Thrones each cost me a television.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Apparently, the job interviewer doesn’t like it when your biggest weakness is beautiful Latinas.

Just landed via Telegram:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Is it possible to die of horniness? Asking for a friend.

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