Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

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Which wine pairs best with WWIII?

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Dating is just wondering why someone is single and then slowly figuring it out.

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They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

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I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

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I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

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Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

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Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

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Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

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Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.