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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Male birth control is free, and it’s called wearing Crocs with socks.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Polish girls are just winter Latinas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,316

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I’m old enough to remember when FIFA was about kicking balls, not sucking them.

Seen just now on Facebook:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Trending via Telegram:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I remember when I was broke… I’m still broke, that’s why I remember so well.

Live now on X:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Just landed via Instagram:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Making waves on Messenger:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Spotted on Messenger:

Sorry I can’t carpool to work. That’s the time I use to angry scream.

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

2 months ago

0

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a thrilling night out when your top priority is turning in for a cozy night’s sleep? 🛌💤 It’s official: we’ve reached peak adulting when the highlight of our day is climbing into bed with fresh sheets and fluffy pillows! 😂 #adultinggoals"

adulting, bed, being, different, excited, excitement, humor, level, life, life stages, relaxation, responsibility, sleep, stages

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

0

2 months ago

achievement, award, bravery, cut, eat, fact, food, humor, i, parenting, son, struggle, toast
Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

0

2 months ago

advice, health, i, properly, relationship, request, sleep, walk, walks
I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

0

2 months ago

accusation, being, humor, irony, plagiarist, wit, words
NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

0

2 months ago

along, art, digital, digital art, friends, humor, investment, irony, less, money, NFT, relationships, scam
Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

0

2 months ago

call, cold, complaining, heat, humor, seasons, spring, time, weather
If you find me offensive, then I suggest you quit finding me.

0

3 months ago

attitude, communication, finding, humor, i, me, offensive, quit, sarcasm

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WeChat this month:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ll find a cell mate before I’ll ever find a soulmate.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

36 shares on X this month:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

75 shares on Discord this month:

The only thing I worry about when I’m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

77 shares on X this month:

I think I may need professional help. A chef, a butler and a maid should do it!

54 shares on Instagram this month:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,571

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If you don’t have anything nice to say, sign up for Twitter.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Scooby-Doo led me to believe that if I were ever really scared, I should run super-fast in place.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Get a Ring camera so you can yell at your kids when they’re out front and freak them out.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

In an effort to keep the employees motivated and increase morale, my boss has asked me to stop talking to everyone.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Shared recently on TikTok:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Seen just now on Facebook:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Trending via Instagram:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, here’s Wonderwall.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Spotted on TikTok:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Making waves on TikTok:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

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