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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

May he drop his phone on his face while he’s texting other girls.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,608

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

Spotted on Threads:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Getting road rage alone in my house.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Going bananas on Twitch:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Just landed via TikTok:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Trending via Facebook:

A collective orgasm would fix the world.

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a recipe for emotional disaster! 😅💔 #TwitTangle

dating, humor, love, relationship, sarcasm, someone, stripper, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

0

2 months ago

am, charger, die, humor, i, lazy, next, phone, procrastination, relatable, waiting
If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

0

2 months ago

activity, actually, bathroom, better, cleaning, evidence, fun, fun activity, humor, job, motivation, murder, pretend, while
I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

0

2 months ago

ask, diet, eat, food, humor, i, irony, misunderstanding, sugar, understand
My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

0

2 months ago

appliance, fridge, happiness, humor, life, light, most, people, relationship
It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

0

2 months ago

am, closer, crazy, date, finding, future, humor, i, irony, loneliness, love, relationship, time, year
Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

0

2 months ago

authority, bed, demons, humor, imagination, landlord, rent

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

15 shares on WeChat this month:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

40 shares on Reddit this month:

At the gym, everyone thinks exclusively about how little weight I can lift and how quickly I’m out of breath, because the world revolves around me.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

No matter how weird things seem to get, there’s always an episode of The Twilight Zone that was eerily similar.

21 shares on Slack this month:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time a Taco Bell rings, an angel gets diarrhea.

95 shares on X this month:

Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Being sleepy all day is just part of who I am.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Cicadas are all like, “Y’all mind if I scream?”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Making waves on Discord:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Just shared via Discord:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Just landed via Snapchat:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Breaking via Messenger:

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Just landed via Telegram:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

If you pretend you’re erasing the evidence of a murder while cleaning the bathroom, you’ll do a better job, and it actually becomes fun!

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Remind the demons under your bed that you’re the landlord, raise the rent.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨