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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

No kids at my wedding. Gonna Uber the flower girl home when she’s done.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,948

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

Live now on Snapchat:

I am like the weather. Temporarily friendly.

Spotted on YouTube:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Shared recently on Discord:

No place in this world is as dark as my archived chats on WhatsApp.

Going viral on TikTok:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Making waves on Instagram:

The idiot’s diet is just biting your tongue.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a recipe for emotional disaster! 😅💔 #TwitTangle

dating, humor, love, relationship, sarcasm, someone, stripper, Twitter

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

1 month ago
bathroom, brother, childhood, dance, family, humor, i, sister, waiting
Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

4 months ago
awesome, cat, cracking, dude, getting, getting stoned, guy, humor, i, just, laughing, love, pet, stoned, walk
Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

1 month ago
being, boy, child, childhood, horror, isolation, nail, only, only child, shining, sibling
I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

1 month ago
achievement, age, aging, am, balance, climbing, comedy, confidence, daily, daily life, feeling, good, got, here, humor, humor about aging, i, leg, life, life perspective, losing, myself, people, perspective, relatability, self-deprecation, skydiving, through, underwear
My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

1 month ago
again, daily, daily struggle, humor, morning, not again, relatable, sleep, struggle, thought, thoughts, waking, waking up
Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

1 month ago
again, animal, animal reference, chicken, food, funny moment, grocery, grocery store, holding, humor, moment, reference, rotisserie, rotisserie chicken, Simba, situation, store, unexpected, unexpected situation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

A gentleman always straightens out the vending machine after shaking it.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Have kids so you can say things you never thought you would like “please don’t vacuum your sister”

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Making waves on Pinterest:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Making waves on Messenger:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Going viral on Twitch:

You give a man your heart and he’s gonna put it under another girl’s picture.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Going viral on Telegram:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

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Activity Log ✨

Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

I’m so broke, I owe myself money.

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

What are y’all gonna do when those labubus come to life and start biting y’alls ankles?

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

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Dating someone from Twitter is like believing a stripper loves you.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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